Please allow me to introduce myself

The seemingly unending delirium of not shooting a film is taking a toll on me. Though I have just had a seriously decadent birthday party (of which I remember nothing) that did little other than empty my bank account of a few thousand dollars and ruin my reputation with a score of 24 yr old models (like I really need to be fucking 24 yr olds… I mean I love the way they moan…it’s just the talking to them afterwards part that creates the difficulty) my life seems empty (assuming you ignore the ever increasing amount of tickets and court appearances) and the depression. It is times like these that I’d normally buy enough weed to forget my mother’s name (Mom, it’s a joke…I’m a writer, you have to relax) but it appears that I’m on Sookie’s shit list cause he seems to not want to sell to me (I have needs Homie!) so I’ve turned to my number two passion, porno. Only the porno is not what it used to be. I mean how depressing is it when porn doesn’t’ even do it for you anymore? Is the world really coming to an end? Is this really what it’s going to be like when it’s all over, boring porn and the inability to find a decent pint? (F.Y.I. The Room is Santa Monica still sucks big sweaty balls…but I digress) Is this the point where I sell my Z and turn to religion? (ha…ha… yeah, sure it is!)
Speaking of Z cars, for those of you that don’t know me (I believe that number is around 250 million or so) I drive a 1977 Datsun 280Z, with a really nice exhaust. The other day I was on my way to autocross (it’s what I do when I’m not banging the shit out of my ex-girlfriend) @ about 5:30AM (racing happens early) one of my neighbors stuck his head out of his window and yelled at me about “revving my motor” in the middle of the night. After a very short conversation where I explained to him that 5:30am is not the middle of the night, I have to physically be inside the car to rev the motor and that I have perfected the fine art of cussing while discussing his mother’s anatomy he decided to shut his window (imagine that). Several days later I received a complaint letter from my landlord: whom we’ll call Mr. Frank. He wrote me a 1 page letter telling me that he’s received a number of complaints (…uh, one person calling repeatedly about the same thing does not constitute “a number” in generally accepted customer service jargon) about my car and told me that I was disturbing the peace and that I should consider getting a better exhaust. My response was a 3-page letter delivered on the same day as my complaint letter was received that went something like this…fuck you!; I have a lease; Fuck You!; there are people who live here that are way louder than me; Fuck you! We live downtown where the homeless, 1-legged hookers and scofflaws congregrate…and uh, Fuck you! I pay big money to make this kind of noise. I was really hoping that some sort of parking lot brawl would ensue so I could go over the top of the pile with a clothesline and yell out things like “…tell ya momma who did it to ya!” Needless to say, there was no formal response to my letter which could only mean one thing (Frank is a pussy).
But the whole thing got me thinking, what the fuck is going on? Why is everyone treating me like I can’t find the I-10? (it’s the one where the cars aren’t moving and a few are on fire)? I guess it’s been a while since I impaled a festival director with a rolled-up poster or told a guerilla filmmaker (all you need is desire) which way to go and how to get there. I think this is a common phenomenon in our industry. We tend to let them forget what it is we do and what it is we are capable of. Now, since I can’t flash my pussy (if I had a pussy, I’d put a picture of that motherfucker on a billboard with the slogan “you know you want this” under it), “accidentally” overdose on a bottle of prescription medication or get caught fucking on a night vision camera (you might want to bring the wide angle lens) my ability to keep my company and my likeness in the minds of the motherfuckers who matter is a bit difficult.
So how do we do it? How do we make sure that we are remembered? How do we ensure our names will get tossed around when it really matters?


1) Get a reputation for something your mother would not be proud of. Look, I know this is hard cause if your Momma is still alive, there’s a very good chance you’ll have a very uncomfortable conversation about this behavior that will more than likely have a detrimental effect on your present receiving opportunities (who doesn’t love gifts from mom?) Ok so, here’s what you do: You have to get a reputation for something that is not readily verifiable…like fighting so many tickets that the LA Superior Court refers to you as Four Amendment Mary. I know this is difficult but you don’t want your fantasy producer reputation to be destroyed by a simple Google search (and flipping the circuit breaker before the dinner party is a great way to prevent this). My point is, make sure your reputation proceeds you.


2) Be better than at least one other peer in your part of the industry. Look, I’ll be completely honest here. Nothing gets you out of the hot seat faster than a statement like … “look, I may have choked a few strippers but I never urinated on anyone that was attending a drive-in movie so back up off me”. That’s funny and is nice visual imagery (think convertible parked next to a dually Super Duty pick-up truck). And regardless of what you have just been accused of, everyone is going to go home and try to figure out what the fuck you are talking about.


3) Have a story to tell. Yes, it’s that simple…and it’s really good if the story includes a shark, a bear or the disarming of a bomb. Did you read the story about the chick in Florida that was walking her dog when an 8ft Alligator jumped out of the grass (dude, that’s what I read…don’t be a dick) and grabbed her by the ankle and tried to drag her into the lake? (no really, this shit actually happened) She gouged him in the eye with her thumb to get away (what is she an MMA fighter?) But my point is when she’s at the dinner party the story sounds way different ….”so here I am in 3 feet of water, whippin this Aligator’s ass when animal control shows up. Talk about lucky, I was about to have the flyest shoes and matching luggage in all of Florida if them bitches hadn’t have shown up when they did”. It’s true that it’s all in the delivery, but my point is valid – have something to say.


4) Have a favorite drink. Nothing says “I’m less fun than a traffic stop in Beverly hills” than a Budweiser drinker. Oh, and no fruity drinks if you’re male. It’s really hard to take a dude seriously when the inside of his glass looks like it belongs on Jimmy Buffet’s shirt (c’mon… that’s a good joke). I drink Guinness, tequila straight is apparently getting very popular (and if you meet a woman that like to drink patron straight up…she’ll fuck you 6 ways to Sunday if you can get her home…believe dat!) Just find a drink, and stay away from whiskey unless you’re Irish or can fight…I’m so not kidding on that one.


5) It’s really hard to look uninteresting when you have someone to talk to. And if you get fucked up you can both put in your earpieces , put on your sunglass and talk into your cuffs and watch the real felons make a run for the door (FYI this is really not funny when the President is near)
Ok…here’s your plan to filmmaking success. And yes, I do use it…but I also have a big cock (please email me for pics) so it’s easy for me to make friends so don’t take it personal if I’m better than you (I am better than you )

Laters

COOPRDOG

It seems as if I woke up one day and I was forty.

Yeah.. the birthday passed…the party was…uh.. happening I’ve been told. I got so fucking plastered that I walked around with a massive erection and tried to molest every woman I could get my hands on (uh…another reason I prefer weed to alcohol)…but as I slept off the hangover and the shame the reason for my concern came to the forefront…I’m fucking 40!

It’s not the end of the world…other people have achieved this age (so I’ve been told)…but there is a reason for concern…I have shit to show for it.
Well…all that is about to change. The aforementioned TV show that I’ve been “developing” (that’s an industry term for running ads on Craigslist and trying to get unsuspecting women to send me pictures of their bodies)…it’s finally ready to move to the next stage of ….development. Ok…ok.. I’m being facetious. I’ve actually done a lot of work on the show and I didn’t get any naked pictures of women (but I did try).

As you know I hate all my competition and my peers cause I’m a misanthrope who thinks all you hookers work for me, so you should not be surprised that I have some things to comment on and complain about. I’ve been spending my time trying to fuck my ex-girlfriend (I mean she has a sweet pussy) and slowing turning my Z into the most feared car in SCCA autocross (ok..maybe that’s an embellishment). But it all comes together in a nice meat pie (trust me on this).

In order to produce this show I need to have all the pieces, which I have; and I also need to physically get out of the house and talk to a few people who might have some…uh…money! To facilitate this I rejoined my producers group which really doesn’t do that much for me. Well that’s not completely true. I do get to talk a little film, but mostly I’m trying to fuck most of the women in the group…and as of yet I’ve been unsuccessful. Though the organizer of my group…man do I want to hop on her. But being that I’m a feminist (no, really) I need to stop thinking this way…but I am still a man.. so I should be allowed the occasionally hormone inspired delusion.
Anyways… I’ve attended that last three meetings and I’ve been none too happy with what has transpired. Don’t get me wrong, the group does have some good attributes and I would recommend anyone who is just starting out to join a group because you have to practice being near the industry so you know how to act. I, most definitely do not know how to act. I drink too much, I’m always looking for sex and I never met a speed limit I didn’t try to almost double (I drive a fast car)….but we were talking about film.

I’m sure those of you who know me or know this blog are curious how I’m making this “transition” to Television. Well, I’m not. That is not meant to insinuate that I’m not making a TV show.. I most certainly am, but I’m not defecting to TV. I am a filmmaker. I do my best work with several days of shooting, a crew who loves me (can you fucking fake it…Jesus!) and post production that allows me to develop a serious gummy cola habit (gummy colas are the tits). That’s what I’m good at . But I need millions…no, MILLIONS to make my feature. And for those of you that are new to the blog please don’t start with your “you don’t need millions to make a film”… no, you don’t… and you don’t need Billions to make a rocket. If you want the rocket to leave the atmosphere you do…and if you want a reasonable chance for the film to be seen, you do. Get it?!?!

There is no award for making the most from the least (too many superlatives BTW…that statement makes no sense)…but more importantly let me underscore my prima fascia belief.

“It doesn’t matter how cheaply you shoot your film if no one is willing to pay to see it”

…you need to memorize that and think about how it applies to guerilla filmmaking. Yes, I do think there are some…attractive attributes to guerilla filmmaking, but they are far outweighed by the downsides…which are thinking small and only being able to utilize small crews. Sure, you’re really talented…you aren’t constrained by these things… really? So you think a 10 man crew shooting for 2 days at a time over 9 months to complete a short…is going to prepare you for a $5MM feature with an 80 man crew shooting in 20 locations? You don’t want to make those kinds of movies? Then what the fuck are you doing? Your films must get bigger and more involved if you are to have a career…it’s just that simple…


….but I digress.

The TV show is not a …diversion. To the contrary, it’s an ability for us to redress what it is we really want; autonomy. I’m not pitching a “look what I can put in my mouth” TV show. Or a “look how desperate these people are to avoid being alone” TV show (hey.. I’m alone.. It hasn’t killed me)…no, no, no. That’s not what I’m trying to do.
What about a cool concept, with interesting visuals and more to show you than excess? That’s what I have..that’s what I’m going to shoot.

Look…I can yell and scream about how awesome my feature is and how dope my filmmaking skills are…but they aren’t listening and don’t need to listen. Cause there are so many of us shooting and screaming at them (and submitting to them). So we needed something new…and something profitable.

Profit…yeah, that’s the ticket. Film requires the outlay of many thousands if not millions of dollars and then months upon months of waiting for an opportunity to make back your investment and a little more for you trouble. Therefore the TV show is the logical choice for filmmakers like myself.

I aim to produce a show that has the ability to be consumed on broadcast TV, cable, DVD and online streaming/downloads. Flexible media is the key.

It doesn’t matter if the networks say no, I can parse the different portions of the show into discreet media to be consumed by selected audiences…all of which advertise my production company.

Sound crazy?

Cooprdog

I think it's time...

I'm now 40 yrs of age and still recovering from a massive party I threw in my loft. I really went overboard with hiring roller skating models who wore white cotton panties for me...too bad I got so faded I couldn't chase a single one of them...but whatevers...

I've got a line on some real money for the feature...and I've got a TV show to produce...yeah.. it's about Z cars... (surprise surprise)...

the love life is horrible...the sex life is...complicated... but what's new....

anyways.. this is my hello... I'll try to post frequently...

Cooprdog.

Why

Why is it that legitimate filmmakers are always searching high and low for investors with little success to generally be had…and conmen, can find a Mark in a matter of seconds? What do the conmen know that we don’t? I have hesitated to comment on this topic because it’s absurd, sophomoric…redundant in a number of respects. At the least, I am demonstrating that I’m far more interested in playing the X’s and O’s of absurd hypothetical than actually doing things that will further my career (yes…more dilemmas, I suggest you get used to them)…yes…more film insanity is what you are witnessing….

….but seriously, what lessons are there to be learned? Conartists create a great con (saving children in the jungle, return on investment), dress the part, play the role and take the Mark for all he’s got. The conman is organized, through, he’s always closing (Always Be Closing), charming, memorable, using body language to gain trust and maybe his greatest strength is his ability to convince the Mark that this is a very limited offer that he needs to act on quickly.

I am proposing that we become con-artists. Dress the part, play the roles and sell the deal. I would have no problem going to a bar and taking part in a con where we pretend to sell a guy some diamonds…I mean I have the balls to do that kind of thing. So how can the film proposition be so different?

I think we are too honest, to caring to trusting; I think we are too willing to do the work that needs to be done and save humanity…instead of being bloodthirsty. Maybe we need a little of both is what I am getting at.

We must think and act like conmen…the only difference is that what we are selling is real…what we are selling is the magic that is the cinema.

COOPRDOG

A New year is a new chance

Listen, I know what you are going through. The economy is shit, people aren’t fucking you right now, it cold as fuck in LA…and the prospect of filmmaking seems like years off…yeah, I feel you.

That’s why I’ve come up with Cooprdog’s 5 step plan to get you through this.

Step 1: Develop some sort of a substance abuse problem. You’re a lot more interesting and fundable if it looks like you have demons to hide. Take me for example.. I have a substance abuse problem and outstanding warrants…I’m a potential golden globe winner

Step 2: Date someone who is really interesting and kind of strange. Strippers, hookers, people acquitted of double murder are all great potential mates…and no one fucks you like a crazy person so that’s a two-fer.

Step 3: Drive something unusual. Look I know your Honda Accord gets great gas mileage, but it’s like hella safe (might as well be a Volvo). You want something that’s a little older, hopefully with a little rust. Bonus points if there are stains on the seats and somewhat of an odor (tell them the car was used in a bank robbery and a few of the perp’s got shot and killed…and you are keeping it authentic.

Step 5: Don’t live near the beaches. Listen… I really mean this…you have to immerse yourself around real people. Don’t get me wrong I’m the first person to assfuck a Santa Monica Chick…but you don’t want to live there. Makes them think you have money and if you have money you really don’t need money

Ok… once you get all that down then we can move on to the next major portion: Your attitude. You can’t walk around like a little boy who lost his puppy when you are looking for money. Did you see Swingers? “We got to act like we don’t need this shit…and then they give us this shit for free”. I’m totally fucking serious. It’s all about your attitude.
Yes I’m kind of cracking jokes (except for the thing about dating someone interesting – dating a single mom who lives in the valley is just not worth the miles you have to drive) but there is some truth to it. As filmmakers we are individuals…much more individualistic than other arts. This is something you must embrace and wear like a red Badge of courage. It is our singular individualism and our approach to constructing images that will release financing…not how good our scripts are.
Yes, I know you doubt that last statement….but let’s delve a little deeper shall we. If you were to sit down with any group of financiers of American Independent film…specifically those who fund first time feature directors there is one thing that you will hear echoed over and over again. They quest to work with people who have a tremendous amount of vision and who are somewhat uncompromising in the way this vision is executed.
When I’m pursuing investors (when am I not pursuing investors) I often tell the story of two directors who are both looking for funding. Director A lives in the valley, owns his home, is married, has two beautiful kids and is funny. The EP comes over with all the potential investors and this guy fires up the grill…starts his stand-up routine and generally lets everyone know that he’s a swell guy and he has a good film. When asked why they should make this film he responds “..because it will mean a lot to a great many people”. They really like him…but still are unsure if the risk they are assuming is worth the payoff. Then there is director B. He lives in a small apartment that’s kind of messy. The EP is somewhat reluctant to take the investors to meet him because he’s very eclectic. The EP’s become even more curious and literally demand to meet the guy. The EP says “are you sure?” He tells them to meet him at the corner of 5th & Alameda and to wear dark colors. He rendezvous with them and has them follow him to Director B’s apt. Once parked outside he gives them some instruction: “don’t ask him to turn on more lights…he likes it dark”; “Don’t ask him to speak up or to come closer…he’s a bit aloof and likes his space…he’ll come closer when he feels comfortable”; “…and whatever you do, do not…I repeat, do not ask about the stuffed dog!” The investors are scared and excited, they don’t know what to expect. After a few raps on the door the director opens it and lets the entourage in. His apartment is cluttered with DVD’s and movie posters. The guy looks like he just fell off of a fruit truck and when he speaks he seems to be talking to the universe. As strange as this situation is, the investor are captivated. One of them who is more daring than the rest of the lot dares to ask why they should make this film. The director responds “…because if we don’t make it someone could die”.
Yes, I am being a bit facetious…but I think you get my point. For those that don’t make film, for those that don’t write scripts…it’s a very sexy, mysterious business. This is what you need to sell. Now is not the time to pitch safe romantic comedies with a pg-13 rating. Now is the time to take a risk. None of us are really getting funded in this present credit environment…so, why not go for it?
The victory will mean a lot less to you if you play it safe and do exactly what they want.

Go for it, Bitches!

COOPRDOG

3D Hoopla

If you have been paying attention to the shifting sands and changing territory that is the exhibition industry you are aware that 3D is returning to the theaters in a big way. I live in West Los Angles and I went on the Real D site to search and see how many 3D theaters there are in my metropolitan area. The answer was 50. I wasn’t exactly surprised by that because it’s a given with digital distribution technologies and Dreamworks has announced that they are all-in on 3D films for 2009.
I then began to read blogs and comments on blogs and industry and a whole bunch of shit on 3D cinema and what it means and how it may revive the film industry. I think it’s all a load of shit and I’m about to tell you why.

Even if 3D is as amazing as they say it is, and no – I’ve yet to see one of the new 3D films (I’ll get to that in a second), even if the image is a captivating as they say it is and even if the writers and directors of the film industry can get up to speed fast enough to help this technology turn filmgoing on its ear (talk about a big “if”) I do not believe it will fundamentally change the industry.
Why do you ask? Because, just as I have underscored with digital distribution, this does not address the ills of exhibition. The industry suffers from an overbuilt supply of screens, a homogenization of narratives and an endless supply of sequels to ancient pre-sold property.

But that’s not what I’m really upset about; what really sets my dick on fire is that thought that an element of filmmaking will change how the film is received. We already know that is now true. Directors like Jerry Bruckheimer and James Cameron and Michael Bay were instrumental in making movies (crashes and explosions) big, badder and louder. Whatever the sequence was…it had to be big. This led us to ridiculously long stunt sequences like “The Transporter” where car chases last several minutes (which is laughable because either you get away or you crash…two cars racing nose-to-tail in rush hour traffic or around shipping containers on a dock for an endless amount of time defies the physics of a 3-dimensional universe. Lest we not forget the visual element component of “The Matrix” that ushered in a slew of films that merely had pretty pictures.

What all of this taught us was that no amount of stunts or explosions or visual elements or CGI vistas and landscapes can take the place of a decent script…and that is why I think this new 3D initiative is laughable.
Does feeling as if you are actually in and part of a bad movie not make it as bad? How many elements can you direct at the screen? How much does it enhance a horrible scene if you feel like you can touch the coffee table? I’m not being a dick…these are legitimate questions that need to be answered.

I guess there are sufficient numbers of people that will line up to see The Hulk IV in 3D…but will the premise be any more believable? This country and the world will soon tire of men in tights flying around and saving the world from evil men in tights who wish to destroy the world. The film industry is so concerned with kids themes that it makes me wonder how much juice if left in the fruit?

In a country that is experiencing the largest financial debacle since the great depression, an endless occupation in Iraq, a the largest deficit in history, mass loss of thousands of pensions and retirements due to all of these corporate failures I would think that there is a growing market for adult (non-PG) entertainment.
But that is not what we are going to be sold. The upcoming release schedule for 3D films is almost all kiddie cinema not to mention the resurrection of extremely old narratives. I just am not willing to believe that there is a significant upside for this. Sure, kids are born every year and kids need something to watch…but not 85% of all filmed entertainment.

But that is not really what burns me up. You are witnessing the degradation of the those who create intellectual property…that means writers, actors and directors…not to mention DP’s (cause you can’t really have a DP trying out new techniques in one of these films…you need to stick to what they know…which is static cameras and a lot of watching people talk).

Can you see how quickly the environment has changed and how the pace is quickening? What’s next?...extended sequences with no dialogue which will resemble embedded misuc videos in a film so that we can really show off the technology? Laugh if you want, but this is where we are headed.

Films are driven by narratives. I’ve never seen a great film that didn’t have a great narrative…it’s just that simple. This is not meant to discount the effect of women with big tits, over-the-top-car-stunts, excess profanity or any other portion of your favorite films that made them your favorite…but what makes you return to films like “Swingers” and “Bad Santa” and “The 40 yr old Version” and “Stripes” and “Harold & Kumar go to white Castle” is the writing.
I can’t fucking wait to see how lame this idea becomes. I mean really people…do you think this is going to fly? Here’s a little Cooprdog analogy for you: You can dress up a porn star in the best clothes and give him all the acting classes you want…if he can’t fuck the living shit out of his female co-star the movie ain’t gonna sell (…uh.. I watch a lot of porno).

..ok, I just fucking can’t take it anymore…I gotta get some weed

COOPRDOG

What to do now

We are in a recession, this much is obvious. Now I am aware that there are those of you out there that still cling to the technical definition of a recession and until you see two successive quarters of contracting GDP you will loudly proclaim that we are not in a recession…but I don’t want to get into all the “maybe this…maybe that” that is economic forecasting and analysis. I want to talk about how this applies to you as a filmmaker.
Whether or not you stay glued to your financial screens, whether or not you can name commentators on CNBC and Bloomberg is irrelevant because we, as an industry, are indelibly linked to the financial industry. I say this because nothing is greenlit without financing and many of those from whom we solicit funds are either direct beneficiaries of, or directly affected by, the status of the financial markets.
Yes, I know… you didn’t go to business school. Most of you are probably not even sure what the Federal Reserve bank does and why it has two rates, but that’s ok (actually it’s not you really need to educate yourself but for the purposes of this discussion it’s…kind of ok) I don’t require you to be able to explain the dual mandate of The Fed. or why the dollar cannot rally in the present environment. What I want to underscore is how this is affecting your desire to have starlets do bumps of coke off your cock.
I, like you, am looking for funds to shoot. I have two options – find someone with access to financing (production company with a fund, studio with a line of credit, entertainment lending institution) or find someone with the cash money and the requisite lack of judgment to give a good chunk of it to a filmmaker. Either way you go, you will encounter persons and entities that are constrained by the credit crunch.
But I think I’m going to quickly… so let’s go over the basics:
1) Mortgages: When a person gets a mortgage on a house that they wish to purchase, their monthly mortgage payments are combined with other monthly mortgage payments to create a stream of cash flows. How you ask? Well, several million people are taking out mortgages each year (in a normal market). That’s several million people paying down on interest and principal on a monthly basis to a bank. Since mortgages come in few varietites (30yr, 15yr, ect.) the length of the payments (amount of time the homeowner will be cutting checks) and the size of the payments is quite predictable. Therefore all these payments can be grouped and sold as a bond. There are different levels for different qualities of mortgages, we call the tranches. The Upper tranche has no prepayment risk and no default risk (well that’s how it’s supposed to work)

An investor can then purchase a bond or a Assest backed security at whatever risk level they want and receive monthly interest on the bond…which is really the monthly mortgage payment that passes through the investment back (deducting fee’s and transaction costs) and then back to the end investor. This Mortgage pass-through vehicle is a cornerstone of our economy.
The subprime problem was that a number of these mortgages were written to people who don’t have the income to cover the rapid increase in their interest rate (a typical ARM can be readjusted 200 basis points (2 percent) per annum)…this causes a cashflow problem.
Due to the cashflow problem, banks won’t take the mortgages as collateral and banks won’t admit how much of their mortgage portfolio’s contain this bad mortgage debt.

2) No Lending means no Liquidity: Liquidity can be thought of as excess funds. If your car drops its transmission – and you have ample liquidity in your checking account or other investments – you can cover the temporary increase in expenditures without paying your rent or carpayment late.
Now… how does this effect entertainment lending? Well there is this thing called a reserve requirement, this is the portion of funds depostited in a bank that must physically be on the premises at any given time. What happens is that a panic sweeps through the financial markets, people want to see and hold their money, but if more than 10% of the depostiors try to withdraw funds on a single day…the bank would become insolvent.
So, banks call in their lines of credit because the need the excess reserves and as a result there is less money in circulation and less money available to lend and the money that is being lent, is being done so at much higher rates.

What does this mean to you? Well, all the slick motherfuckers that have these lines of credit in the film industry have received letters and phone calls informing them that the size of the line of credit (and in some cases the entire thing) has been severely reduced and the cost to use what remains has significantly increased. So we now see an entertainment lending environment where less risk is desirable. Companies can still make films, but they will shoot few films and try to reign in the budgets to further reduce the risk.
So, why make a $50M action vehicle that may be in post production for several months, when you can shoot a $2M romantic comedy with a B-list actor and take your chances at the box office. Maybe that example is a little absurd (not really) but that’s the environment that we are facing.
If you haven’t noticed, there is a whole bunch of nothing going on. Now is a good time to write a script, develop an addiction, go back to school or go to a writers retreat…because things will be slow for while.

What am I doing? I’m looking for small and medium sized production companies that have scaled down their production schedule or producing all together…and trying to see if I can do some freelancing.
What is in demand right now is skilled shooters. If you are a mini-DV hack with little understanding of how films are funded and distributed then you present a serious liability for anyone who works with you. This is not a time to be experimental (not that I ever think you should stop thinking outside the box) this is a time to be practical. If you can bring a project in – ontime and under budget without all the primadonna shit that normally accompanies principal photography you will find yourself busy. If you have a multi-hyphenate designation (writer-Director, DP-director, Director-editor) you are extremely valuable right now.

Flight to quality: The term “flight to quality” is what we in finance refer to as a large movement of funds from corporate bonds and riskier issues to Treasury bonds – which give less of a return but are guaranteed against default. Similarly if you were to sell all your shares in Mom-and-Pop-Ltd. And use the proceeds to buy shares of a reasonably large blue chip stock with strong fundamentals (cash flow, sales growth, ect.) that would also be termed as a flight to quality.
We also have a flight to quality in film. It is really not in a production company’s best interest to make wild bets on unproven talent with scripts in genres and visual territory that most of America is not familiar with. Sure, you could have a break out hit – but the chances are few in such an environment and the downside (an unwillingness to back your ideas in the future) is quite considerable.
Now listen to me, I’m not telling you to start writing scripts about little girls who cry and just wish they had a better relationship with their Daddy…I’m telling you to circle your wagons and focus on your strengths. When this blows over there will be a scramble like we haven’t seen in quite some time. When the trust and the financing returns everyone cannot continue to make “safe” films because the market will have reached a saturation point.
Your job is to maximize the return (financial, artistic, critical or otherwise) for a given budget and script in the hopes that when they are ready to get a little “racier” that you will be the obvious choice.

Ok.. I have a script to write you bitches….

COOPRDOG