Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Death or coach, your choice.

Ok so what is the fuckin’ deal with the line to get on the plane. Everyone is staking out the best route to get into the line; as if it’s festival seating on the flight (ok.. I know like southwest does that but I wasn’t flyin’ southwest….so shut the fuck up!). So according to the international homey rules I am playin’ mad beats and nodding my head as I shout out key phrases like “Shaolin!”….or “one point five million!” which makes most non-hip-hop listeners think you are crazy, or ghetto as hell. This is preferably for the black man in flight, because you never know when you are gonna need to do some Wesley Snipes type shit – so this really helps your “crazy black man” image. I used to wish I got to sit next to a really hot chick on the flight…but I am not a fan of hot chicks next to me and I would urge all of you men to stop wishing for it; because nobody wants to hear 3000 miles of weak game (no, my game is money-asshole I just have a GF, that PSA was for you bush leaguers). So there is more pushing and shoving till we get on the jet way…and look it’s another line, and then we get on the plane…and look there is another line – got the point, stop all the fucking pushing! Are you really in that much of a hurry to watch kiddie cinema and pay $7 for a shitty sandwich (hell yeah they raised the price…but the economy is doing fine…if you don’t own a car). So I’m killin’ like hella zombies on Infected, I mean I just killed so many motherfuckers on this train platform that the game told me that it was “unfucking believable”…and then comes the announcement “please turn off all electronic devices”……bitch, this is a high score…are you high? Luckily for me, I have drugs in my system..so I passed out as soon as we left the ground…man I love drugs!

What is all the fuckin’ racket? What the fuck is that sound? And who the fuck is kicking my seat? Children…oh hell no! How the fuck is that allowed? I fuckin’ hate kids on planes, they should be banned till they are old enough to buy their own tickets. I mean what the fuck? Is this kid gonna cry the whole time? Isn’t there a gag-a-motherfucker rule in effect for flights that are longer than three hours? See this is why I am fucked up all the time, crying children!

Question….I am 6ft 200lbs+…is it possible to get more than 3 ounces of water at a time? I am quite sure that I can be trusted with the bottle (well…bottle of water). Ok no more Coach, I am gonna blow up just so I can fly first class and get away from you people…and dude…put your fucking socks on…are you fucking kidding me with that shit?



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